“Robots; Mankind’s assistant or Threat to Mankind’s Existence?” From the deranged mind of Thomas L. O’Connor

Before I start this paper regarding a serious matter I would first like to dedicate this paper to Robert Williams who was the first person killed by a robot and hopefully one of the last.

“Robots; Mankind’s assistant or Threat to Mankind’s Existence?”
From the deranged mind of Thomas L. O’Connor

The year is 2029 and thanks to Skynet; the world is in ruins as mankind struggles to fight the robots and their endless mass produced army. Whenever judgment day begins, the bottom line is that robots and super machines cannot be taken lightly and must be considered as valid of a threat as Kathy Griffin to society. Although (for the moment) robots are manmade; with more advancements in artificial intelligence we can potentially lose control of what we made rendering us “the creators” and not “the masters” of this new metal species. Robots have come a long way throughout the 20th century and have made production on a grand scale cost efficient and steady. Long since have the days of the Spinning Jenny have passed where now we have machines that in order to work some douche bag in a union pushes the button and there it is, magic!

As the robots and machinery intelligence grows and begin to operate independently what will happen when a robot watches reruns of “Happy Days” and see the Fonz hitting the jukebox and getting upset at this apparent man-machine hate crime? What’s the robot to do in a world that sees him as a second class citizen just because he isn’t natural? This all plays into the entire movie that was AI which was about a robot child with the capability of loving and having genuine emotions even though the movie went batshit crazy at the end when Spielberg got his hands on it after Kubrick died throwing in aliens and crap, but regardless, great movie dealing with robots living in a human society. Once robots gain complete independent control of themselves and their actions they will have to endure humans and their prejudices. Surly independent robots will not be completely accepted which creates the threat of them turning on men.

A fine example of this threat comes from the film “2001: A Space Odyssey” where HAL, the ships brain controls and regulates all that goes on in the ship, HAL, incapable of making mistakes given his intelligence makes a minor slip and places the crew in question of HAL’s abilities and two crewmembers speak privately of what to do with HAL and speak of shutting HAL down. HAL reading their lips in one of the space pods goes on the defensive killing most of the crew to preserve the Orion’s mission to Jupiter feeling that he is far superior than the crew and they alone are not capable of completing the mission. With superior intelligence, machines can possess the idea that they are better at making decisions than man. They can then shift the balance in their favor under the notion than mankind has made countless errors in the world since the dawn of man and lionize themselves above man feeling a machine in charge would make fewer mistakes than a man ran world.

In the event of this happening what is to stop the machines from taking complete control of everything that goes on deeming humans unfit to rule regardless as to whether or not the machine(s) are incapable of errors? With the creation of such supercomputers/machines man must install a failsafe termination plan to shut down the machines when deemed fit, however in doing so you open the option for a third party to shut down the machines creating slight anarchy pending on how much faith is put into these machines and everything.

The battle of man against machine will be one the machines have the great advantage to in a sense that you can manufacture a machine and send it straight off the assembly line and off to battle whereas us humans must reproduce and wait years before the next wave of human soldiers are set against the machines. The machines will greatly outnumber men tenfold within six months of judgment day. Therefore if we continue the trend of making more intelligent machines and dabble into the field of super intelligent robots we must also venture into methods of a complete global mechanical shutdown that would indeed set mankind back a couple of generations but will ensure the survival of the human race, so long as Kathy Griffen is claimed victim to the machines be it during the war, or as a parlay where we sacrifice her for the entertainment for both man and machine.
Machines will only be as powerful a threat as we make them via what we input into their systems. It is imperative for the creators of this new wave of machines to severely consider limiting its abilities. Do not create a machine capable of anger. Do not create a machine with weaponry. If you desire to go the whole Robocop route, remember Robocop II and the machines created that went haywire and had it not been for the efforts of Robocop Detroit would surely be in shambles…oh wait. To continue on Robocop the provisions placed in his database prohibited him from harming children and a strict conduct of maintaining the law. This proved to be a problem in Robocop II and III where he couldn’t stop the baseball team looting the electronics store, the doucheface kid in II and fighting OCP in III. It was programmed into him that he could not take action against the evil OCP until it was corrected by one of the doctors that built him.

Should such methods to control the machines be in place then it may not be so bad but the threat will remain. It only takes a party, directly or indirectly to tamper with the mainframe of the machines to turn them against us. Yes this may be a farfetched plot from many bad movies like the piece of shit airplane movie and the robot from Mission to Mars with the great Gary Sinise. It may be greatly possible that a severe blow to a robot could short the system, reset it and as in Mission to Mars set the robot into survival mode, as well as in 2001: A Space Odyssey as mentioned earlier.

The grand issue at hand here is not so much how the Robot rising judgment day may occur, but what methods are in place to end it before it begins. Obviously you can not place a halt on production and technological advancement. I feel that the problem will come from Japan when robots are not used for business manners but for personal recreation as servants where they’re in an open environment roaming free amongst us willingly. I must confess that I would love a robot to do my evil bidding, but the robot I want is GIR from Invader Zim and GIR is retarded but loves tacitos! If robots are made for personal usage the sky will be the limit, independent companies will further the advancement of machines and machinist sympathizers will seek to have more emotions placed into the machines which generations feelings of resentment and angst towards men should men treat the machines like women, or something like that. When machines are capable of judgment calls who is to say what is the right call? Suppose one little element is overlooked in programming such as grey areas of culture where some things are tolerable in one culture but punishable in another. For example, in many states you cannot smoke in bars. What if a robot bouncer was created and accidently shipped to western Pennsylvania where smoking is allowed, five minutes into the turning on of Bouncer-bot 6996 a bloodbath would ensue. Judgment calls are a paradox that robots cannot nor should not manage since they are creations without learned morals on top of the programming which is set in stone, do calculators make judgment calls? Hell, even look at chess computers; they are programmed to play the smartest move, what do most of us do when playing chess? Generally make one move that’s off and sit at the computer cursing it out and hitting “undo last move”. If you made a robot to shoot darts, obviously it would be ridiculous with a British accent kicking everyone’s ass which should never even be conjured up given the fact that a FUCKING ROBOT WILL HAVE SHARP OBJECTS. The whole purpose for creating machinery is to achieve perfection and ease of labor. If you believe in God, we are all born with original sin and are indeed not perfect, why would we even try to create a being superior to ourselves that could realize how badass and great they are and decide to take over. TRON!

Man is not like the animal kingdom, we do not have sharp claws or severe strength to survive. Mankind made its way to the top of the food chain via intelligence. We learned to create primitive weapons to hunt for food, we used our intelligence to communicate with each other and operate as a unit, to instill this knowledge into a machine shall indeed be our demise. Heed the warnings from Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Tron, and that shitty airplane move. Robots and intelligent independent thinking machines are a valid threat to mankind’s survival. Next time you put on G4 and see a robot just think, that robot can and possibly will tear your arms out.

The Ho-Mohawk

Think you're a real tough badass, a real rebel rouser, fighting against the oppression of the capitalist pigs, anti government and establishment? Why not rock a mohawk, or as I will always refer to it, the ho-mohawk. Nothing screams douchebag to me louder than when I see people in this day and age representing a ho-mohawk. It's just a step above people who will swear up and down that their shirt is salmon not pink. Well assholes, salmon is not a color, pink however is, so therefore, you're wearing a pink shirt, and just like wearing white after labor day, men should not wear pink, unless of course there is a vagina on your head, then that's acceptable. By wearing a ho-mohawk you are telling me that you think you're going to change the world, or that your hair us uber cool. If as you will read later on, rock the mohawk and are of the punk genre, cudos to you for keeping it alive, but then again, you must rock it true and shave the head, not the trend now of buzzing the sides. If you wear it true, fucking a.
The history of the mohawk as far as my understanding is badass, originating with those pesky cowboy killer Indians or, Nieve Americans as taught in school. Mr. T rocks a mohawk, as did the 101st Airborne Unit in the WWII, it was a staple for many fans of the punk genre during it's development when punk music actually meant something. So let us assess the persons above who represented the true mohawk.
Native Americans had it first, but they can not reap the blame on this one, afterall, they went to war and it was their symbol, as was the same with the 101st Airborne, they were at war and it was a nifty idea for a squad to partake in. As for the punk followers, it was a sign of change, with their uncommon against the rules way. Lasty as for Mr. T, it's fucking Mr. T and you all do not to be pittied any more than he already has and forever will.
However the persons stated above in slight detail had a true mohawk, at least they had the balls to shave their head enhancing the mohawk in all of it's glory. Unlike the douchefaces today who are too afraid of getting yelled at by their mother or being made fun of in school, who do not shave their heads, but trim the sides to create a bullshit mohawk, or as it is known in the world of TOC, the ho-mohawk. Another thing that us Americans stole from the Brits as they felt the need to go apeshit with their hair and fuck with it more. "Hey, that mohawk looks like the shizzy, but oh man, I can't shave my head, what will I do when it's out of style in a couple of months?" So just puss out completely and trim the sides and let the top grow out like an out of date mullet with AIDS, poof there you go, now you can proceed to bang emo girls and cry about it to your circle of friends as you touch each others cuts and like your ho-mohawk's with joy.
The hairstyle itself can be proven, by SCIENCE fact that it is, for lack of a better term and not meant in the derogatory way, kinda gay. Super-duper stars such as Brandon Flowers (tough guy name) from the Killers, Joel Madden from Good Charlotte, Tre "not so" Cool of Green Day (now ruining hair and music at the same time), Mikey Way of My Chemical Romance, Jack Osbourne, David Beckham, and Bruno the gay fashion reporter from Ali G. Sound like a group of people you'd like to have behind you in times of war? Hell no, in a good old fashioned street fight, I'd put Mr T against all of the people above and Mr. T would come out victorious with a lot of fools pittied, especially Beckham, god damn is his wife double o oogly, and should I even reference the thee bands above who are involved in this sharad of a hairstyle? Good Charlotte? My Chemical Romance? Green Day? Shit God Dan Akroid, they were all mentioned in my soon to be released bit about how they, namely Green Day are ruining music as we know it, what a f'n coincidence that they too make my list of douchebags with ho-mohawks.
It's clear cut that I have won yet again and have bested even myself, my girlfriends dog looks at me with approval and the cat can personally give a fuck since he's a cat. The mohawk was once a thing of pride, now it is a target for my amusement, for all of those old school punk persons who rock the true mohawk, wear it with pride because that is who you are and it is your style, balls to you for shaving your head. As for you faux mohawk clear cut defined ho-mohawk wearers with your trendy hats, suit jackets over t shirts, clip on tie wearing, leather bracelet, vegetarian broccoli eating, dating men or women because their hair is scruffy and looks rugged, when in fact rugged is my god damn Brooklyn Mountain man goatee, ring in the lip, lisp speaking, star tattoo wearing, GED role models, you all can kick a brick and by the grace of god, move to Eastern Europe and become victims of the human trafficking ring picking the diamonds for me to give to my girlfriend. Hear me Chief? This goes out to my man Sheriff Broadie, I think we need a bigger boat to put these fucks on and allow you to sink it and swim off in the distance with Richard Dreyfuss. Thank you, God Bless America, and get your dick sucked, except if you have a ho-mohawk.